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CommonUnity Values: DeStressing

Stress: We all have it; we can't get rid of it; we all feel it; and we are clueless what to do about it – but we'd better learn. DeStressing is the productive solution.
Don't you wonder?
... How can we stop being totally stressed out?

   You're not the only one stressed these days. Stress is destroying our world.

I've also Wondered:
  •    What is stress?
  •     How do we get rid of stress?
  •     Why does stress seem neverending?
  •     What is the stress response?
  •     What stops the stress cycle?
  •     What does it take to resolve stress?
  •     How do we resolve stress?
Read more @ Ponderings...

Stress is life's way to reveal to us how the personal perceptions we hold are in conflict with reality.

The SocioEnergetics Foundation
is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit
educational organization
sharing Life Wisdom
for the business of living
in the Peace of CommonUnity.
~ Amrit Desai

Essential Truth of the Month:

A stressed world
cannot grow better.


What Truth does this speak to you?

What is SocioEnergetics?

SocioEnergetics is a contemporary way to explain Life as we know it.

Uniting science, philosophy, psychology, and spirituality, SocioEnergetics explores how contemporary physical and social interactions evolve from and into the ultimate essential CommonUnity.

SocioEnergetics unites the search for our essence of being.

The guiding principle of SocioEnergetics is to expand the Infinite Potential through Learning, Growth, increased Knowledge, and the pursuit of new Possibility.
Meaningless rote repetition in school fails to stimulate the conscious connections that build inner values. Without buy-in to the learning, the synaptic ties don't connect to our inmost self; we grow up conflicted, without any sense of who we are at heart. The inner disconnect leaves us vulnerable to stress.


We all have stress.

Stress is the general adaptation of the body to what is happening around us and within us. There is no way to avoid the internal changes made by chemicals released into the blood as we go through our days. Whatever happens – good as well as bad – changes the way our bodies need to adjust to the incoming stimuli.

As part of our physiological heritage, we're equipped with enzymes, hormones, neurotransmitters, and other chemicals that release when triggered by sensory observations of our changing world. We notice some external input or internal alteration, and our blood and nerves carry the message throughout our physical systems.

Hans Selye, a Canadian endocrinologist (1907-1982) researching in the 1930s, adapted the physics and engineering term stress to refer to the effect of physical and psychological forces acting on the body.

Cognitive dissonanace is DIStressing.
Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.
Chinese Proverb
Learned opinions that violate our inmost values create suppressed inner conflict; when challenged by opposing points of view, the conflict surfaces and causes stress. The more fiercely we have learned to hold the opinion, the more we fear the threat of confrontation. The stress response leaps to fight or flight, inhibiting conscious consideration of facts.

We all feel stress.
We can't get rid of stress.

Our genetic legacy incorporates the most effective patterns of response to commonly experienced stressors:

Stress is a birthright from the wilds of our ancestral past. Primitive people often had to run from overwhelming predators or stand to make the kill, and those who reacted quickest lived to pass on their sensible genes. Those who didn't adapt quickly to the changes around and within didn't survive, so over time, the best patterns of response dominated the genetic code incorporated by the evolving body.

As a result, we've inherited internal systems that make the surviving behaviors that prod us to physical reaction automatic. Typically, we don't even notice minor prods but just shift to catch or avoid the breeze, shade our eyes against the sun, or move to stand in the sunspot for warmth. When more overwhelming stimuli bombard our senses, more emphatic reactive patterns are triggered, and our bodies prepare for fight or flight.

We're the heirs of a long legacy of practice. Our bodies have been built to notice the threats to our survival and automatically react. The stress response is in our DNA.

  • Minor concerns about our health and safety release low levels of neurotransmitters, just enough to prod us to corrective action; we take an aspirin or put on a sweater.
  • More immediate dangers stimulate greater production of chemicals and neurotransmitters designed to help us manage surrounding challenges; we are stimulated to stay more focused, energetic, and alert. We become more vigilant noticing who and what is around; we are more cautious about who we trust, what we do, and where we go; and we proactively plan for options and contingencies.
  • In the most dire of emergencies, stress hormones flood the body for quick action: the heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, blood pressure rises, breath quickens, and senses become sharper as we get ready to deal with the crisis; strength and stamina increase, reaction time speeds up, and focus narrows and enhances. We prepare for a fight or to flee from the danger.

Stress is the combination of inner forces that prods us to respond to outer changes. Without stress, we'd have no inclination to adapt: We wouldn't feel any need to make the corrections that make life easier and more enjoyable. We wouldn't have an urge to avoid life's problems or know what to do when one was unavoidable. We wouldn't pay attention to life's dangers or do everything necessary to prevail.

The problem, though, is that our bodies don't know the difference between physical stress and psychological stress.

We've become clueless what to do about stress. We can't survive without stress, but it turns out: we can't live with too much either. As long as stress served its biological fight or flight purpose, there was no such thing as too much stress, but as we socialized away from the reactive mode, the build up of stress has become a trap as toxic as a tarpit.


We'd better learn to destress.

The biological imperative that configures inner forces into stress is purpose driven, triggering our necessary and appropriate adaptive adjustment to life's inevitable changes. Corrective action releases the forces constructively and has survival value. To chronically inhibit the survival forces short-circuits the fight or flight release; repetitive internal resistance recycles the forces into an overstressing spiral that, like proliferating carcinoma, becomes self-destructive. Without correction, health, even survival is endangered.

Since it would take millennia for biological overstress adaptations to evolve (while the stress intolerant genes become extinct), people must learn immediately effective destressing techniques on their own.

In the normal course of life's ups and downs, we all release stress neurotransmitters.

  • Stress is a physical buildup. Release it with regular exercise.

  • Stress is psychologically reinforced. Reduce it with relaxation.

  • Stress has a purpose: to energize us to deal with life's changes. Use it to effectively adapt.

Okay, adapting effectively may be a challenge, but when we don't destress effectively, we overstress.

Living CommonUnity recombines the best of science, religion, philosophy, and healing into powerful transformative, energy-based, deity-free guidance for creating the life you want!
SocioEnergetics Vocabulary   RefleXion
DeStress   Stress is inevitable;
overstress is avoidable.
To use the internal stress resources effectively to focus on productive conflict resolution, situational improvement, and self-fullfillment.

  The formula for stress is to hold things in (often characterized as holding it all "together") until the situation blows up into moments of overwhelming urgency.

The body's biological imperative to seek change for the benefit of the being. Characterized by disrupted energy caused by internal, external, or situational conflict, stress signals that a healing opportunity is available. When the response is productive, the conflict is resolved; otherwise distress diverts energy from wanted choices to unfullfilling ones.

Divisive stress; energy drain. When we focus our energy on someone else’s choices or on something we don’t want, even if it is to resist that focus, we send a part of our energy reserves to the unwanted thing, draining our available energy without any return support or benefit accrual, leaving some of our physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritually essential needs unfullfilled. Any such deficiency results in accompanying physical, mental, and/or emotional symptoms which become more noticeable as the level of energy deficiency becomes more pronounced.

  The more we focus our unproductive conflict resolution inward in order to shut down consideration of unacceptable possibilities raised by the situation, the more we constrain our own energy. Active resistance to the reality of the situation causes us to create inner conflict. Directing energy to conform with a socially acceptable interpretation or expectation instead of the real problem builds inner turmoil that recycles into escalating internal pressure.

Stress is the trash of modern life.

We all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life.

     ~ Danzae Pace


A stressed world cannot become better.

Fight or flight requires no conscious effort but is an automatic protective reaction. In times of stress, we withdraw into protection; growth shuts down, both figuratively and literally.




Stress is an ally.
Stress is an ally, not the enemy. Stress is the body's way of telling us when something is interfering with what we need for a healthy, happy life. To ignore or subvert that internal intelligence is self-defeating.

Only when we realize that our own internal forces are the ones working for our personal benefit can we acknowledge that social rules are designed for the convenience and strengthening of powerful outside forces. To sabotage our inner forces is like working for the enemy; overstress is traitorous self-betrayal. Destressing takes the resources at hand and uses them to our own benefit.


Make Stress Your Ally.

  • Recognize stress as a signal. It tells you when life is not working in your best interests.
  • Don't tolerate stress. Stress evolved for a reason; ignoring stress obstructs the benefits and turns potential inner resources into self-sabotaging threats.
  • Learn from stress. Change is the way of the world. Stress is our internal resource that facilitates necessary change. By learning from the body's stress that something is interfering with life's easiest course and then using the stress resources to make the needed corrections, we make progress toward the life we actually yearn for at heart.
  • Constructively use the energy built up by stress. Prepare yourself to deal with the stressors: become physically fit; learn new skillsets; gather the resources and support you need.
  • Manage stress before overstress becomes its own threat. Working off the stress at low levels to maintain health and safety through prompt corrective action improves life and conserves resources for growth.
  • Decrease distress. Change is necessary when good things happen as well as when threats occur. Stress signals the need for both types of change. By managing life to continuously direct your choices in the direction of what you want, opportunities for intentionally planned good change increases, and the debilitating stress that focuses on fears and uncertainty diminishes.

Effectively used, internal Stress resources focus on productive conflict resolution, situational improvement, and self-fullfillment.

Stress: "The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it."
Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.
~ Jane Wagner
We are socialized to NOT deal with the necessary adaptive adjustments in life: we defer to the boss; we deny relationship problems; we stuff anger and other emotions until they come out sideways at "safe" people. When we feel helpless to act in our own best interest, we fail to release the stress buildup in effective ways that correct the situation. This recycles useful stress into overstress, and the stress energy is hijacked into physical symptoms, emotional reactions, inappropriate behaviors, mood swings, and health problems.
Avoid OverStress
  • Overstress over-releases stimulating hormones like adrenaline. Notice the gut-clenching rush of the release (diverting digestion energy into fight or flight) to help identify the trigger, and then develop an effective strategy to correct the cause (why you feel helpless) rather than the symptom (usually anger or anxiety). Get help if you cannot do this alone.
  • Overstress depletes mood-managing and sleep-regulating serotonin. Instead of flying off the handle or worrying all night, take time regularly to identity issues and develop baby-step action plans to change the situation. Get help if you cannot do this alone.
  • Overstress disrupts sleep. Sleep on a regular schedule; avoid alcohol, which further disrupts the sleep cycle. Find a teacher who can guide you to relax. Learn relaxation techniques and practice regularly.
  • Overstress creates carb cravings. Balance nutrition with regular meals containing plenty of protein, fruits, and vegetables; avoid junk food and empty calories. Consult a dietician if you cannot do this alone.
  • Overstress hijacks useful energy into intensified nervous stimulation. Deal with the sources of conflict to release the buildup: find a support group; go to counselling; improve relationships; change jobs if necessary. Consult a therapist or life coach or get a stress release mentor if you cannot do this alone.
  • Overstress takes a toll on the body and mind. Exercise regularly; eat healthy meals; avoid addictive substances and behaviors; sleep regularly; take time off from working to play and relax; see a health practitioner for acute symptoms and follow prescribed regimens for recovery and management; get out of your rut and do/learn something new. Join a support group or get a stress release mentor if you cannot do this alone.
  • Overstress worsens feelings of helplessness, often leading to clinical depression, chronic anxiety, addictive disorders, and other psychological manifestations. Find a support group; go to counselling; take care of yourself with proper nutrition, exercise, and relaxation; take proactive charge of your choices and your life. Work with a stress release mentor if you cannot do this alone.
  • Overstress increases "cognitive dissonance" – the gap between what we do and what we think. Be true to yourself; find a support group; go to counselling; develop baby-step action plans to change the underlying situation. Work with a stress release mentor if you cannot do this alone.

The list is starting to repeat itself because the most important thing to do to avoid overstress is to acknowledge who you are at heart and honor your real needs.


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5 Easy SocioEnergetics Steps to Change the World:

1. Release the patterns that create the old conditions.

2. Create the patterns that bring about the new conditions.

3. Open new Possibilities.

4. Activate new Potential.

5. Produce a new Universe.

This works to change YOUR world, too! 

If we each created our own world of peace, the world would be a peaceful place, too. Start NOW: Do your part to create the PeacePlace we all yearn for!


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2006-2014 SocioEnergetics Foundation
The SocioEnergetics Foundation is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit educational organization
sharing Life Wisdom for the business of living in the Peace of CommonUnity.